Morning Routines
by ScruffySock
Summary: Tomfoolery in the ShinRA soldiers. Based on the aftermath of Sinnatious's fanfic "The Fifth Act" (a must read). Cloud/Sephiroth pairing, with a dash on Genesis love. There will be several chapters. Absolute crack n slash.
1. Chapter 1

"I'm telling you, it's totally there," Zack whispered to the Second Class beside him.

Kunsel shook his head, expression hidden by the helmet. "No way," he hissed "Cloud doesn't swing that way at all." He leaned back slightly, fitting the lip of the mug under the rim of his helmet. While he was drinking, Zack continued to prattle at him.

It was in the morning, in the break room. They were all getting up, preparing for another day with copious amounts of coffee, sugar, and snide comments.

Zack and Kunsel were leaning against the counter by the coffee as Cloud and Sephiroth went over a few pages of paperwork at the table.

"When they look at each other, it's so obvious," Zack countered sternly. "Like, here watch." The First proceeded to sit up, coffee in hand. "Hey Cloud," he gestured from one side of the table. Cloud glanced up, startling blue eyes glancing his way. "Can you pass me the napkins?"

Cloud's hand automatically reached out toward the napkins, but as he started to look back up toward Zack, Sephiroth looked upwards from his paperwork.

Green on Blue, for a split second they absorbed each other's attention.

Then, Zack felt the napkins in his hand and Cloud continued reading his paperwork. Zack sauntered over to the other side of the room. "See?"

Kunsel scoffed. "What do you mean, see? They looked up."

Zack put down his coffee, waving his arms around enthusiastically. "No, _feel_ it, in the air?"

Kunsel stopped drinking his caffeinated tar for a moment, and his shoulder's stiffened. "There's so much tension in the air," he whispered, looking around as though he could spot places it was hiding.

"_Sexual_ tension." Zack corrected, the mug already in his hands and at his lips.

"No," Kunsel countered "you can't convince me that isn't rivalry tension."

Zack grinned slightly, putting his glass down and reaching for the coffee pot. "Well, maybe it's both. I mean, when they're fighting they are in close proximity a lot."

"Don't even go there."

"You could say their materia is heating up on the field-"

There was the sudden clatter of glasses and condiments hitting against each other as Cloud's and Sephiroth's hands both slammed onto the table they were sitting at.

"_Excuse_ me," the silver haired General interrupted "but we both have first class hearing. And I'm sure Cloud and I would rather you stay quiet about whatever _theories_ you have about our rivalry."

The chocobo head himself opted to stay silent, but his eyes were burning with fury and maybe a touch of embarrassment. Zack made a sound between a sigh and a scoff.

"If you can hear me, why don't you do anything about it?" Zack sprinted to the other side of the table, between the two First's. He swept himself onto one knee putting his hands out palms up dramatically, saying a tad too thunderously "Sweep those condiments off the table and _give into the passion!_"

Before either of the flustered men could make a comment, a muffled gasp was heard in the doorway. All the faces in the room turned around to see Angeal holding some paperwork with a confused expression painted on his aged features and Genesis standing behind him stifling laughter. It wasn't working.

Angeal sighed, putting a gloved hand to his temple. "I was going to have you sign this, Sephiroth, but if you're too busy… _giving in to the passion_, I can come another time." The silver haired general was silent this time around, an angry vein pulsing in his forehead as he snatched the papers from his fellow General.

"The only passion here is Zack's obsession," Cloud retorted coldly, running one of his hands through his hair. The furious scribbling of a pen was the only noise that could be heard as Sephiroth signed the papers.

It was a moment later when a young voice, far younger and more naïve than any of the people in the room spoke up. "What does Zack mean, giving in to the passion?"

All eyes were drawn to the young Cloud, who was standing behind Genesis. He was holding a stack of papers himself, no doubt for one of the lucky Generals to sign. There was a collective realization that perhaps they shouldn't hold any adult conversations while the chocobo chick was in the room, but he had been attached to Genesis' side since they had cleared him for paper duty.

Zack laughed, although it was a little nervous. "Ha, that's something Genesis'll talk to you about when you're thirty."

"Eighteen," Genesis corrected. Kunsel coughed up his coffee. "I'll tell him when he's eighteen. That's a good proper time." He patted the chocobo's head affectionately, but before a second pat could be distributed the grown chocobo pulled the child away from the poet general.

Tiny Cloud sighed, handing the paper over to Sephiroth, who responded with a grunt.

"Cloud," older Cloud commanded "I think you should go see if Lazard needs you to organize more paperwork. Genesis is busy right now," and it did not go unnoticed when the man shot a flaring blue glare at the dramatic redhead "and he needs to stop distracting himself."

Genesis pined at one end of the room while Kunsel dropped his mug in the sink, cellphone in the other hand. "Hey, guys, when do your missions start?"

Zack was the first to respond. "My first mission starts at ten, but I need an hour before then for the ride alone."

Cloud and Sephiroth both responded "Nine." They glanced to each other slightly, before turning back to Kunsel.

"Well, Aerith just invited us to join her for breakfast at the joint near her church. Apparently some guy calling himself the Don or somethin' paid her big for a basket of flowers."

Cloud stiffened. "I thought…" He put his hand to his chin, thinking hard. Kunsel cocked his head. "It's nothing, I just thought that the Don was younger than that…" Obviously Cloud had met this man from the future, but he seemed blatantly disturbed. Angeal slapped his hand between Cloud's shoulderblades, his kind of pat, but the chocobo head flinched. His back would sting for a while now.

"Well," Angeal continued "It seems that our schedules are open. Breakfast?"

Of course they Aerith was surprised to see every single one of them filing into the small diner, but the rest of the slums was even more surprised. People backed away as though they were on fire, a few newspaper junkies taking pictures.

Aerith continued her chipper attitude. "Wow, you're all here! Ah, but my last payment might not be able to pay for everyone…"

Sephiroth waved a hand. "We didn't expect you to pay for us, just Zack. He's a loafer."

They ignored Zack's protest as they were given a long table nearby the far end of the diner. Cloud was more that self-conscious, but luckily there were plenty of other people around him that the public focused on.

Unlike Zack, everyone ordered a modestly small meal. Genesis was paying for little Cloud's food and was more than delighted to service him, but Kunsel felt shivers up his spine when he looked at Genesis' sunny smile.

Aerith very pointedly sat Sephiroth and Cloud next to each other, with a cat's smile on her face. They obliged, but were obviously nervous when they brushed elbows.

"So," Aerith asked with her cat's grin "I heard from a little blackbird that the Silver General and the Golden First want to give in to the passion."

Sephiroth was a very dignified man. So it was surprising to see him cough mid chew of his waffle, and even more surprising to see some sort of a blush creeping up his features. Cloud simply turned around, hand on first Tsrugi, fully prepared to cut Zack into little nuggets and feed him to the predator cat Cuahls by Gaea's cliff.

Zack put up his hands in a pleading sign of innocence while Genesis and Angeal attempted to calm the enraged bird man beside them. Aerith very pleasantly gave Sephiroth a small cup of water to down while they finally suppressed Cloud's rage.

Genesis tried to ignore little Cloud's upset requests to know about the passion and giving into it as Kunsel tried not to laugh from one corner of the table.

Whoever was in the small restaurant promptly left after that, save the one maid that had shaky knees as she served them their desserts and took away their dirty plates.

"Zack," Cloud stated with an arctic tone "refrain from spreading any rumors."

Zack was about to oblige whole heartedly when Angeal, who was leaning against the table and slowly munching on cooling bacon asked aloud "But what's the deal? I mean, you two obviously have some sort of _fervor_ going on. I can understand if it's because of the rivalry, but-"

"_Passion, you people want passion?!"_ Cloud demanded in a high pitched voice as his fists slammed into the table. Everybody backed away except for Aerith, who watch with interest.

Before anyone could possibly predict what Cloud's intentions would be, fighting, screaming, blowing up the entire city block using comet, he grabbed Sephiroth by his shoulder's and dipped him downward into what would be called a passionate kiss. The silver general was stunned only for a moment before his hands ghosted up Cloud's back and knotted in his golden hair.

Genesis instantly covered little Cloud's eyes.

Zack, whose face was a brighter pink than the two lip-locked beauties before him exclaimed "_**We need to leave right now.**_" Kunsel and the remaining General obliged imminently Genesis practically dragging the chick with him, although Aerith seemed more than compelled to sit and watch.

Moments later, they were sitting in front of the diner.

Genesis' chicklet was the only one who had the sense to drag his plate of food out with him, and so he munched quietly as the rest of them sat in awkward contemplation. All that could be heard was the quiet creak of old metal dangling from uncertain buildings and the quiet chewing from Cloud's younger counterpart.

"How long do you think they're going to, uh…" Zack pulled on his collar, trying to cool down. Angeal cleared his throat.

"If we had teased them at a more… secluded location, then maybe this wouldn't be a problem…"

Genesis, ever imaginative, muttered "I can only imagine what they're doing in there, tables destroyed, dishwear shattered…"

"They're not doing anything," replied tiny Cloud with his hands cupped around his eyes as he looked through the window. Genesis let out a "Hey!" but Aerith was by his side, looking through the tinted glass. "He's right, they're just sitting there… Ah!"

Zack stood up abruptly. "What? What is it?"

Aerith spun around, finger on the glass. "Cloud is eating your dumapple pie!" She looked astonished. Angeal and Genesis both relaxed, putting their hands on their heads. Zack made a whining noise.

"What? My pie!" He was quick to throw the doors open and rush inside, the rest of the group on his heels.

They were sitting, rather pleasantly, eating everyone else's food.

"Cloud, that's my pie!"

Cloud polished off the rest of Zack's food. "Then you shouldn't have left it unattended," he chided.

"Well if you two hadn't-" Aerith stopped Zack with a waffle in his mouth.

"Now now, don't get upset. The entire thing was rather refreshing!" She was sparkling. Cloud decided it was because she was a cetra, not because she was a teenage girl who had just seen two very attractive men go at each other. It was because she was a cetra.

"Well, I hate to cut this short," Kunsel stated "But we have places to be, things to sign, and monsters to kill." There was a collective sigh as they checked the time.

They all thanked Aerith for inviting them and left the restaurant a hefty tip, one for the loss of customers and the second for the trauma. As they were walking back to their van, the streets long since abandoned after hearing about an angry First, Genesis took the opportunity to slide over to the Golden First who was gliding down the road.

"So how was i-"

"If you finish that question I will personally ask Lazard to assign Cloud over to another General." Strife's voice could have frozen a bomb by that point.

Genesis stayed quiet, but on the ride back to ShinRA, thoughts were brewing. Poetic thoughts. M rated thoughts. Thoughts that, when put on paper, could theoretically make it into the Soldier's newspaper if he worked through the editor.

The young Cloud was the only one who noticed his dark chocolate chuckle on the ride back.


	2. Fanfiction is for writers

The ShinRA building was placid as ever that morning.

The only noise to be heard was the janitor quietly cleaning in the hallway, the faint scent of pine wafting down the hall.

Tseng liked the change.

Usually there were far too many enthusiastic Thirds wandering the hallway, chattering and bickering, the loud echoes of roughhousing in the halls.

He tapped his pen against his chin methodically, finally able to start working out some of the more complex things in the company. For one, they needed to hire more secretaries, Gaia knows the ones they had were already up to their necks in paperwork already.

Never mind technically this was Lazard's job; Tseng had more than enough time in the morning to sort a few things out.

The silence lasted only so long, as he heard the squeak of leather boots walked across freshly cleaned tile. The smell of leather wafted through the open door, and Tseng didn't have to look up.

"Genesis," he greeted mildly.

He glanced up, and noticed the odd grin that was spreading across the man's features, and the ashen look of his skin. "No sleep last night?"

"What? No, I was working on something," Genesis replied hurriedly, his hands curling around a stack of paper roughly three inches thick. "Where's Lazard?"

"Sleeping, I'm taking care of some paperwork for him." The wutaian raked his fingers through his coarse black hair. No wonder Lazard barely slept these days. "What was it you wanted?"

"Oh – well – I wrote something – wanted it put in the Soldier's daily statistics." Genesis hesitantly handed the stack over.

"Motivational speech?" Tseng asked.

Genesis laughed, but it seemed tight. "Yes, something like that…"

Tseng was going to look through it, and try to see what kept the warrior poet up all night, but at that moment Reno stepped in. "Yo, boss we've got a problem with – hey, got another stack?"

Tseng held it out to him expectantly. "Yes, but you can deal with this one. Read through it, try to find any errors, and see if you can cut it down a bit. General Rhapsados wants it in the Soldier's statistics."

Reno sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Yo man, if that's what you want," and he took them with a quick flick of his wrist. Immediately he started to browse the first page idly, and his eyebrows shot up. "Yo Boss, this in't somethin' I'm trained to-"

"Come!" Genesis said far too smoothly "I'll show which parts are important." With that the scarlet General escorted the redheaded suit out of the office.

Tseng sighed. He'd ignore it for now.

0-0-0-0-0

"No way, yo! I'm not putting this in the paper!"

Genesis shook his head, "No, you don't understand! I need it only in Sephiroth's and Cloud's copies, alright?"

The Turk looked at the General sidelong, before sighing. "Alright, but yo, I still need to proofread it, Tseng'll ask about it. How am I supposed to tell him I read three hundred pages of-" he lifted the stack in his hands up parallel to him "-'_His manly stature was nothing to the feel of his own prowess against mine_'? I can't even read through a single paragraph, yo!"

Genesis twitched as his constant use of the word "yo" but kept level headed. "Don't you know someone that would actually _enjoy_ reading it?"

The slight woosh from the doors caught both men's attention. Turning, they saw the classic black turk suit, fitted to perfection on the convenient passerby's frame.

Reno grinned. "Rude, I have something to ask you, yo!"

A single eyebrow ascended from behind black glossy sunglasses.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"…and the word '_prowess'_ is used too much. Try '_total command'_ or '_dripping masculinity'_, something like that."

Reno had left the room hours ago, but Genesis was still in sitting in the room somewhere between impressed and mortified. He wasn't actually expecting the Turk to enjoy it, much less make insightful critisms. "Uh- thank you, Rude," Genesis stammered out, sweating slightly.

The Turk nodded once, evening out the stacked papers and sitting up. "I'll get this printed out for General Sephiroth and First Class Strife, now."

"W-wait, how did you know it was for those two? Reno didn't tell you."

Rude cleared his throat. "As it states, '_Oh Xephiro, I never knew this passion you had for me_.' Then '_Oh Glou, didn't you feel my passion on the battlefield?_' The passion gave it away. And the constant mentions of golden hair and silver hair." Genesis had taken a step away from him. "I'm a Turk, I pick up on clues. Even context ones."

He walked out of the office after that, but Genesis could care less. Hopefully the paper would get shipped out that morning, and the two could see the masterpiece they had inspired.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Sephiroth received a newspaper that morning. Odd, hasn't he already asked not to have any more sent to him?

Never the less, it gave him something to drink his sunup tea to.

He began leisurely flipping through the pages, trying to spot anything of interest. One headline popped out to him particularly. "_ShinRA's Scandal, an inside look_!" That was very strange, ShinRA usually didn't let newspaper junkies pour out such large headlines about them.

He sipped his tea. Herbals were the best, honeys never sit with him. This one had the aroma of jasmine. He wondered idly if Cloud liked tea? He never smelled it on him like he did with Genesis. Then again, the only times he got close to him was when Cloud was impaled by the Masamune and was descending on him, and the spontaneous kiss at the café. He awkwardly cleared his throat to no one in particular for the distracting noise.

His eyes flicked down to the author. "Crimson Quill?" He asked aloud. That wasn't any of the usual ShinRA conspirators, what was this "scandal?"

Reading along, it started with "_The ShinRA building was usually cold, with the white linoleum floors, and frosted glass doors. However, down past the front office and through three doors was the training room, always supplied with enough dummies for each soldier to have a hundred spare_." That was very specific, exact actually. Was this person a plant ShinRA had put into the newspaper?

"_The training room was warm, almost humid. A First class Soldier was training meticulously, hefting his massive sword as though it weighed less than a rapier. His hair was the color of a fresh sunset, golden and shining. His eyes the color of the sky, cerulean and deep. His tanned skin was glistening with sweat, a few more beads forming at his brow. Just then, the glass doors exhaled as a man stepped into the room. His hair was the color of steel shavings, his skin like polished iron. His eyes were green as the deep forests, wild and unpredictable. His coat was black leather, tight against his form. The front of his jacket was opened, showing his bare chest, covered only by two strips of leather._"

What.

"_Green eyes drank in the sight of the man in front of him. "Glou, I need your assistance," his velvet voice commanded. Glou turned, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "With what?" Xephiro took the opportunity to close the distance between them, running a gloved hand down his face, the other grasping, almost _clutching_-"_

0-0-0-0-0-0

Cloud wasn't one for spit takes, but he sputtered out his jasmine smelling tea faster than any trained comedian.

Who wrote this? _Where could he kill them_? There was another ten pages of this, and it was tiny print!

The author.

Crimson Quill.

"Genesis," Cloud rumbled furiously, blue eyes flashing to lightning. He didn't bother sheathing First Tsrugi, not when he needed the advantage to kill the silvertongue.

Bursting from his room, he tromped down the hall with an outraged step and fire on his heels. He clutched the newspaper in the other hand. He would shove it down the pretty redhead's throat next time he saw him.

He turned down the hall in time for Gene sis to literally run straight into him. Luckily Cloud's pure rage kept him from budging at all, and the redhead had to take a moment to comprehend who he had just slammed into.

"_Gaia_ no!" He screeched as he practically flew through the only remaining door. Cloud glanced to what he was running from.

Sephiroth, hair wafting about him like a tornado was at his heels, had been chasing him as well. They glanced for each other for a single moment-

"_Xephiro's hands meandered throughout Glou's form, liquid in movement_."

-They looked away decidedly, a truce made temporarily. They did not brush shoulders as they entered the room, nor did they talk. Words were not enough.

Genesis clawed at the training room wall.

_Words would never be enough._

Masamune seemed to sing as it soared through the air, pointing at Genesis. Tsrugi made a definite rumbling noise as it was pointed at the writer as well.

Genesis went pale. "I didn't do it!" He pleaded. "It was… Reno!"

Over the speakers, they heard "_Yo, half my vocabulary is YO! Don't be sluffin' this on me!_"

They must be recording this, the sane part of Cloud thought foggily. However, it didn't matter. Genesis dug his own grave with a pen, so he would die by a blade.

They lunged at him.

This was the way it was supposed to be.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Sephiroth wondered if people usually wrote things like this when he wasn't looking. It that was the case, he would either never blink or go blind. He didn't want to look at that atrocity ever again. The Masamune nearly hissed as he swung the sword downwards, Genesis pleading for mercy, Cloud's pure rage seething at his shoulder-

"Please refrain from killing any Soldiers, we need all we can get."

Tseng?

"Also, the training room had been through enough harassment for today. The original copy of Genesis'… creative writing has been burned by Two Guns. The only copy left is in Cloud's hand."

Cloud carefully sheathed his sword, and unraveled the newspaper. His fingers worked meticulously, making sure he didn't rip any corners.

Then, he gracefully folded it into a small triangle. It was almost pretty enough to be called origami.

Without warning, he shoved it into Genesis' mouth. The general started choking for a moment, coughing as bits of his M rated writing dissolved into his lungs.

"_**This is a testament to man's insolence!**_" Cloud roared, pointing to the man in red. He continued to choke, until he actually had to chew on the writing and swallow it.

"Minerva preserve us," Rude muttered under his breath "he actually made General Rhapsados eat his own words."

With that Cloud stomped out, fire in his footsteps and the mumblings of dark magic and proverbial Bahumuts under his breath. Sephiroth watched him go, unsure of what to do.

Genesis got to breathing again, and the Silver General turned to him. His eyes said murder, but he spoke aloud "Why?" The single words asked so many things. Why would you write that. Why are you so gay. Why can't you behave.

Genesis didn't get the hint. "Why? Opposites attract, Cloud is gold, you're silver…" He trailed off.

Sephiroth sighed, sheathing Masamune. "If opposites attract, I hope your spouse is intelligent, pretty, honest and cultured." With that, he turned and left with the majestic flap of his cape.

From over the intercom, Genesis could hear Reno saying aloud "OOOO_OOOOOO__**OOOHHH**_!"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Sephiroth didn't know what to say to Cloud, as they met in the hallway. They simply stared at each other, tension and awkwardness abundant enough for an entire high school.

Cloud was the first to speak. He cleared his throat, looking away for a split second, looking back at Sephiroth, then focusing on his feet.

"…We… Let's not speak of this event." It sounded like he was going to say something else, but Sephiroth agreed with his compromise.

As Sephiroth retreated to his room once more, he found the newspaper in his room was missing. Perhaps the Turks had taken it. Yes, they had said that Cloud's was the last one left.

Content, he started to pull out another tea bag.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Rude, alone in his room, put the newspaper into a special box labeled "memories". Inside was a picture of drunk Veld leaning on Tseng as well.

One day…

He would reveal the writing to all of ShinRA. Maybe even the President.

This was the way it had to be, of course. Even Turks had secrets.


	3. The Hangover

Zack was currently leaning over Cloud's desk, staring at him expectantly.

Cloud quirked an eyebrow, coffee cup still to his lips.

"…what?"

Zack grinned at him, white teeth peeking out from chapped lips. "You said you had a friend that was a bar owner, right?"

Cloud instantly tensed, blue eyes widening and his heartbeat thrumming. He was silent a long moment, eyes soon narrowing to the young pup in front of him. "Yes," he answered slowly, as though if he said it slowly Zack might not interpret it correctly.

Zack pumped his fists in the air, "Aw yessss!" he hissed under his breath, attempting to contain his excitement. "Do you know how to get drunk? Do you have a recipe for that?"

Cloud nodded, turning back to his paperwork. "I do know how to get a Soldier drunk, yes." He turned back to the first, cocking his head in the way a cautious chocobo would. "Why?"

"Because," Zack replied with the enthusiastic waggling of his hands "Kunsel has never gotten drunk before, and neither have the Generals, so I thought it would be a good idea to give them a hangover for the first time because I was thinkin' 'Who's never gotten smashed before?' and I realized everyone needed the experience-"

Cloud held up a gloved hand to silence him, setting his mug down. "Wait. You want to get the Generals, the strongest of the ShinRa soldiers, _drunk_?"

Zack waved his hand nonchalantly. "I've got a little hut set up in the wastes for this kind of opportunity, so even if someone did become a rage drunk they couldn't do much damage."

Cloud tapped the pen he was using to sign documents up against his chin methodically, considering it. Zack grinned again, much like the cat that swallowed the canary, and he leaned in with a hand cupped to his face. "Hey Cloud," he leered, "I know where to get you that spiced chocolate you like so much."

Cloud froze in place, and he slowly turned to Zack. He looked a little more convinced.

"Show me you aren't lying," he sighed, rubbing his head with his hand. Zack produced a few squares of the peppery candy to him, and Cloud stared at him blankly.

**OOOOO**

"I can't believe he went along with this," Kunsel sighed as he listened to the rattling of the Van. Zack laughed aloud, and Sephiroth eyed Cloud who was holding a large crate full of various alcohols inside. Cloud didn't look back, but a slight sweat was forming at his brow.

Angeal, who was driving, asked aloud "Hey, why'd you let Genesis bring Cloud?" He was referring to the smaller version of Cloud who was sitting alongside the crimson haired warrior, and Strife rolled his shoulders.

"He and I will be sober."

Genesis was madly grinning; probably excited to actually get drunk for once, but both Angeal and Sephiroth were still weary. As they neared the small house Zack had set up in a hurry, the older Cloud lifted the crate up onto his lap, and as the Van slowed to a stop, he had to carefully stand to make sure he didn't drop the contents of the box.

They entered the small hut, made of plywood and held together by old nails and faith, and it was then that they realized this may not have been the best idea.

There was only one room of the hut, and it contained a single table and six chairs. There was a smaller table off to the side, a fold out, and it had scuffs and various stains on it. The larger of the tables had a gash in the middle, and the short end of one side was leaned against a wall. The wall had a smudged mirror leaning against it; a poor effect of making the place look lived in. Instead, the minor interior made it look like the set of a play positioned by amateurs in the slums.

Zack presented it with great grandeur, the jazzy shake of his massive hands in the doorway. "Ta-daa!" Cloud sighed, pushing his way through the horror-struck crowd – they would be getting drunk in this henhouse?! – and he sat himself down at the smaller table, revealing the contents of the box.

It contained several unidentified bottles with the labels peeled off, but a few brand name wines and local alcohol bottles were in as well. Cloud mixed the various liquids with a grace that showed his experience in such matters, pouring the sharp smelling liquid into mismatched cups.

Sephiroth sniffed his cup experimentally, before bringing the rim of the cup to his lips.

**OOOOO**

"Uncle Cloud, why are you recording this?"

Cloud simply smirked as he snapped his phone shut; he had enough footage.

"Don't worry about it," he replied, ruffling his younger counterpart's head.

**OOOOO**

Sephiroth had never been blessed by the affliction of a hangover, and he certainly hoped he would never feel it again.

He held a bag of ice to his head and Zack was intermittently giggling and wincing. "Worth it," he groaned, a grin fighting his mouth. Kunsel sauntered in, holding a grocery bag filled with various Mako-safe blood thinner medicines. They all winced at the loud bang the door brought, but Genesis was still passed out on the lobby couch.

Somehow Cloud dragged their unconscious bodies over to ShinRA headquarters and splayed their half-dead forms on the various couches and armchairs. It was quite a sight for Tseng to behold when he walked through the door that morning, but he would never admit that he took a few pictures before leaving the sleeping creatures.

"_Heeey_," Zack groaned "Kunsel, why aren't you flailing in pain?"

Kunsel grinned, pulling up the rough canvas of his soldier sleeve, showing a thin red ribbon. "Cloud showed me where to buy one, and I popped it on my shoulder before drinking. I thought this only worked on status materia, but it helps with other stuff too."

Zack thrust and accusatory finger at him, hissing "traitor!" under his breath before accepting the medication Kunsel retrieved.

Angeal was simply smiling at the boy's antics, while wincing at his own burdens. Genesis awoke from his slumber and cried out as he covered his eyes.

"It's so bright," he mumbled, arms crossed over his face. "Would someone cast blind on me?" Before anyone could make a witty retort, little Cloud walked in with a large paper bag. "Hey there," Genesis smiled, waving to him. "Where's your uncle?"

He shuffled his feet, suddenly looking very nervous. Zack sat up, rubbing his head. "Cloud…?"

"He wants you to meet him in conference room three," he blurted suddenly, sweating all the while. "He told me to give these to you…" He held the brown paper bag up, and they peered in to see what seemed to be different snapshots of the ShinRa building. One showed outside, another the bathrooms, a few others random hallways. One picture was of Tseng's office, and even more alarmingly, he was _in_ the picture staring at the cameraman with a suppressed smirk on his features.

"What is this?" Zack asked aloud, fingering one of the laminated photos with a concerned expression. Little Cloud only chuckled nervously, and led them to the third conference room.

As they walked, Zack continued to chatter, the medication kicking in. "Cloud's the type to be all mysterious, but this is getting weird. I mean, these pictures, do they mean anything? Or is he just being all clever and planning on pranking us or something?"

"I don't think he's that kind of person," Sephiroth mused. "He's not likely to jump out of the shadows." They stepped into the conference room, each taking a seat and glancing back to little Cloud, who passed out each of the picture cards. They each got two, except for Kunsel who eyed the child. Little Cloud closed the doors and looked up to the podium expectantly, and they all turned to see Cloud standing there. He hadn't been a minute ago.

He was in his casuals, which was odd, considering none of them even knew he _had_ casuals, and they consisted of a white button up shirt and black slacks. He looked like a turk out of uniform, except First Tsurgi sat in the corner assuring them he was still a Soldier. However, Cloud looked more than a little disturbing in his new garb, more-so because of the smile that drew his features up, His blue eyes were burning brightly, and still illuminating his cheeks in a faint aqua glow, but it looked frightening with his eyes half-lidded.

Sephiroth was startled when he realized the look of that smile. It was mischievousness, the expression an intelligent child makes to a dull adult.

More-so, that fact that his heart skipped a beat when he glanced at the golden First.

"Cloud," Zack asked with a _slightly_ shaking voice to his credit "what's up with this?"

Cloud said nothing; he only lifted up his hand and turned the projector on, while the lights went dark. Sephiroth assumed his younger counterpart must have turned them off. The screen flickered from blue to a grey, a few key selections on the light screen. Sephiroth could spot Cloud flicking through a large laptop on the table, and it was then he realized it was a video.

"Oh no," Genesis whispered hoarsely. He knew what was coming, but what?

The screen flickered once, before showing a moment of the night before.

Kunsel was leaning up against the wall, passed out almost instantly. The soldier alcohol was too much for him.

Genesis was under the table he was originally sitting at, screaming Wutaian as loudly as he could, slurring the words badly. It probably didn't even make sense in its native language.

Angeal and Zack were patting each other on the shoulder, mumbling things to each other before Zack bellowed "_I love you man_," and Angeal responded in kind. They started embracing and even crying a little bit, having a sweet bromance.

Sephiroth was staring at something, pointing his finger at it. "_You know, you're gonna get it someday. You won't expect it, but it'll happen._" He hiccupped. "_One day,_" he hissed "_you'll sl-sl-slip. And I'll be there when you do._" The camera panned out to show that he was in actuality talking to the mirror, thus himself, and he face-planted the table.

Little Cloud's voice could be heard. "_Uncle Cloud, why are you recording this?_" The footage stopped then.

Each and every man in the room was shuddering, running their palms along their faces. All except Kunsel, who pumped his fists in the air in appreciation of no blackmail, as he was unconscious in the footage. Zack took the opportunity to run up and smash the computer, bits of plastic and metal whizzing through the air. Cloud was still smirking, not at all surprised, still leaning against the podium. Sephiroth found it oddly attractive.

"There are eight other copies of this, and the master copy," Cloud smiled, sweet as honey.

Angeal swallowed. "So then… those pictures…"

Cloud simply nodded. The generals took off, stumbling over each other in a mad attempt to find the copies before they could be found by a passerby.

Sephiroth looked at his pictures. One was a random hallway in the ShinRa building; it could be any room, except it showed a potted plant in the corner. That narrowed it down slightly, and the room number was blurry but started with a "4". That meant floor four, that narrowed it a little more.

The second was a picture of the room he was currently in, the conference room.

Lucky him.

It was a picture of the podium, but Cloud was still leaning against it.

Damn.

He approached the stairs slowly, Cloud eyeing him. He hadn't moved from his current position, even though the room had already flooded out of the people there. Zack had dragged Kunsel along with him, demanding for help, and Genesis practically dragged Little Cloud away claiming he needed a nimble child to climb up the ShinRa building. So they were alone. That didn't make Sephiroth feel any more constricted, no, not at all.

The first looked ghostly, as the only light was the blue light from the projection screen. It made his blue eyes seem less illuminated, but it made the rest of him almost look translucent.

"Cloud," he stated, hoping he didn't sound swayed "move aside."

The first shook his head.

"Why are you doing this?" Cloud cocked his head, a small smile still on his features. Sephiroth wanted to get angry at him for playing games, but the entire thing was actually kind of funny, if Cloud wasn't dressed so oddly.

Wait a minute…

"You're dressed like a turk," the silver haired general stated. Cloud nodded, still smiling with mirth, as though waiting for him to catch on to some joke. "Reno put you up to this, didn't he?" The other first tapped his lips with a single finger, as though saying to be quiet. Sephiroth was quiet, instantly, as the other first placed an alabaster hand near the General's cheek. With the flick of his wrist, Cloud produced the disk with the footage from seemingly behind his hair.

"Here," he stated in his usual cool voice. Sephiroth felt warmth rush into his cheeks at the sound of his customary tone – why did _that_ have a romantic effect on him? – and accepted the disk. "It's not just Reno," Cloud elaborated, his face the usual flat expression. He rubbed his jaw. "I haven't had to smile like that in a while," he mumbled, massaging his face.

Sephiroth was starting to catch on. And he had to get that other copy of the footage before some poor secretary did. But, before he would leave…

As Cloud turned to shoo Sephiroth away after his performance, he was startled by the yank on his shoulder and cool sensation on his cheek. He turned to say something in a half-flustered half-angry way, but the silver General was almost to the door.

Sephiroth turned toward Cloud for a moment, stating "You should dress in casuals more," before he bolted out the door.

Cloud's jaw clenched as he mumbled unhappily under his breath, a furious blush fluctuating under his cheeks. He rubbed his face, hoping he could rub the kiss off, but the tingling sensation didn't leave.

**OOOOO**

"Just try!" Zack screamed as the wind beat against his face. Kunsel was currently hanging of the edge of a window, reaching for a slim disk wedged in between two bricks in the ShinRa foundation.

"Thing things I do," Kunsel muttered, before he reached out desperately toward the disk.

**OOOOO**

"Why are you in my office?" Tseng asked with his fingers interwoven, watching the scarlet warrior with a critical eye. Genesis laughed nervously, until, without his eye on him, Little Cloud nodded toward Tseng.

The turk produced the disk, much to the Genesis' delight.

"The other one won't be so easy," Tseng mused, leaning back in his wheeled chair. He held the speaker that was always attached to his ear. "Safe?" He asked aloud, hand cupping is ear. He nodded, before eyeing little Cloud with an impish smile.

**OOOOO**

Angeal rubbed the back of his head nervously as the secretary handed the disk to him, giving him a flirtatious smirk and blowing him a kiss as he walked away.

He had to get to the other one soon, before another one from his fanclub caught wind of it.

**OOOOO**

Sephiroth scanned each of the doors. This was the place alright, but none of the doors had the disk on it. Perhaps the ceiling? Looking up, he saw no distinguishing features, when a though hit him.

Rustling around the plant, he lifted the pale plastic pot up and spotted the ethereal surface of the disk. He slipped it out from under the plant and easily snapped it into six pieces, and he crumbled it to bits when he reached the trash can.

Now where was Angeal? The man would certainly need some help, as he was alone in the buddy-system.

**OOOOO**

Cloud nodded, the slim black speakerphone hidden by his hair. "Yes, the Master copy is relatively safe. Mini-Chocobo has it tucked under his shirt, in a smaller memory disk." He clipped the audio off, sighing. When Tseng asked him about the fallen soldiers on his couch, he wasn't expecting the ringleader to produce an entire gag and testing system wrapped around the Soldiers under the pretense of a "relaxation exercise". Next time, he would just keep his mouth shut when it came to matters like this.

He leaned up against the podium once more, sighing, ducking his chin into his collar. It was going to be a long day, wasn't it?

**OOOOO**

Zack cheered as pulled the other disk out from a crevice in the ceiling, crushing it in his hand easily. Kunsel clapped off from the corner, the disk he retrieved already shattered dust.

**OOOOO**

Angeal rubbed his head as he stood outside the ladies' restroom.

This was going to be utterly incredible.

**OOOOO**

Genesis groaned as he exited another elevator, no disk on the ceiling anywhere. It could have been likely that someone took it, but it was still frustrating.

Little Cloud stood next to him uneasily as they entered the next elevator.

**OOOOO**

**OOOOO**

They piled into the room, Cloud once again smiling sweetly and Sephiroth hiding mild satisfaction at the expression.

"We've taken out all the disks except for the master copy," Zack stated fiercely "so where is it?"

Cloud smiled again, this time stepping back from the wooden podium with his arms out. "I have it." A rippled of gulps and whispers went through the men. "Come and get it," he continued with a bowstring smile.

None of the men moved. He had his sword only feet from him, and the fact that he looked so relaxed made them all tense. His lazy movements reminded them of a cobra; with him, it felt like you had an eternity to move as he approached, but you never did.

Sephiroth stepped forward, and he saw Cloud visibly tense. Now, Cloud didn't like physical contact, except for that one time in the café and the general pushed that out of his mind instantly, so why hide the disk on him? Unless…

He turned on his heel and pulled little Cloud toward him. The child was quick though, and was soon out of his grasp and hiding behind his uncle with a determined expression.

They were all prepared to gather their forces and lead a strike against the Strife's, but the older Cloud held the side of his head like the Turk's did, obviously receiving information. "Yessir," he responded loudly, and he waved his hand toward his smaller counterpart.

Little Cloud pulled the disk out from his shirt, and tossed it toward the crowd of men. Angeal caught it one handed and crushed it, much to the men's relief.

"What's up with this?" Zack asked, finally fed up.

"They've wanted to test all your investigative abilities for a while now," Cloud replied, tugging the thin wire and speaker out from under his hair. "You had motive and you were all afflicted by hangover, except Kunsel who they figured out was A-class intelligent by now." Kunsel grinned from under his helmet, crossing his arms. "So it made sense, considering he wasn't doing anything while drunk, so he wouldn't have to participate."

"But what about our reputations?" Zack wailed as he held his hands up.

"There was never any footage on those disks," Cloud sighed, finally tugging the last of the tape free from his skin. He snapped the ear-piece in half and threw it in the trash bin. "They just needed you to have motive."

They all groaned, save Kunsel who, unsurprisingly, suspected it all along.

"-And you've all done very well," replied Tseng from the doorway. He flicked the lights on, so the room was no longer being illuminated by the projector. "Except you, Zack. Kunsel lead you around half the time." Zack grumbled angrily a moment later, arms crossed.

Tseng told them to go home, or to their quarters, for a break. They all had severe hang-overs still, except for Kunsel, Cloud, and his small counterpart.

"Heeey," Zack drawled "What do you get out of this, Cloud?"

Tseng handed him three spiced chocolate bars.

"Holy crap," the first blurted "you really _will_ do anything for that stuff."

Cloud rolled his shoulders anxiously. "It reminds me of home," was his quiet and gentle reply. The team scattered after that, not wanting to bring up any more of Cloud's painful past or the question of how good his mother made chocolate considering he affiliates it with hot spices.

Cloud himself sat in his room, munching on one of the bars, content. The flavor was a little off, and he may have been the only consumer for things like this, but it still reminded him of his mother's horrible luck when it came to cooking sweets. Suddenly, there was a knock at his door, and he peeked out to see another of his favorite candy – which was now becoming a small stockpile next to his bed – and he picked it up. Tied to it was a note written swiftly, almost clumsily.

It stated "_Care for round 2? –S_"

To any passerby, they would have seen the first stomp back into his room, a flustered look on his face.

Sephiroth, around the corner, smiled inwardly to himself and walked away to conquer the paperwork that was no doubt looming at him.

**OOOOO**

Zack slammed his palms against the table, eyes glinting. "Cloud showed me how to make it."

"That is a horrible idea," Kunsel stated. Zack didn't reply as he grinned, pulling out several bottles.

Each reeked of a different alcohol. 


End file.
